## Chapter 11 — Getting Good at Saying **NO** > ### "_Say YES to You, And NO To Them_" Learning to say **NO** — to food, to people, to patterns — is one of the most powerful tools in your transformation. > [!quote] > Every time you say NO to something that doesn’t serve you, > you’re saying YES to the future you want. --- ## 🍕 Saying No to Food (Even When It Smells Amazing) When your partner, roommate, or family walks in with takeout? You need to hold the line: > _“Nah, I already ate.”_ Cry in the shower later if you have to — but in the moment: **hold the line.** --- ### The Domino’s Incident Mid-cut, I once had two Domino’s boxes dropped at my door by mistake. I even called them back and said I’d throw it out. She said, “Sounds great, sir! Have a nice day.” As I opened the trash drawer… I caught a whiff. **Brownies.** My inner Bruce from _Finding Nemo_ activated. I blacked out and woke up in the upstairs bathroom mid-slice. Then I ate my neighbor’s pizza too. Yes, I apologized. **Moral:** Even with discipline, you’ll have weak moments. The difference is: I didn’t spiral. I moved on. > You earn that ability over time. > But in the beginning? > You need to **hold the line** — no exceptions. --- ## 🙅‍♂️ Saying No to People (Even the Ones You Love) This is the hardest part — especially for people-pleasers. If you can’t say **no** to others, your progress will stall. Every. Single. Time. I used to feel guilty saying no to invites — especially from people still stuck in their own cycles. But once I let myself **feel that guilt** — and still said no — everything changed. --- ### Real Talk If you’re always the friend who says yes, you’re not helping them grow. You’re enabling them. You’re not their therapist. You’re not their savior. You’re someone trying to **save yourself** right now. > - Coworker invites you for drinks on a Wednesday? **Say no.** > > - Ex hits you up late night? **Say no.** > > - Friend who only calls to eat or drink? **Say no.** > Every **no** strengthens your discipline. Every **yes** when you meant no chips away at it. You will slip — and that’s okay. But early on? Go **hard** on your boundaries. --- ## 😶‍🌫️ It Might Get Kinda Lonely… At First When you start saying no: - Invites slow down - Texts fade - People disappear And yeah… that can sting. But ask yourself this: > If they only hit you up to eat and drink... > Were they really your people? You’re not abandoning anyone — you’re **leveling up**. That creates friction with those who aren’t ready. Let them go. Bless them. **Keep walking.** > [!quote] > Sometimes people lash out > because your growth reminds them of their stagnation. --- ## 🧠 Final Reminder: Focus on You If your partner’s not on board? That’s fine. Don’t try to convert them. Don’t beg. Just lead by example. Eventually, people either catch up — or fall away. Either outcome is okay. --- ## 🔁 Recap - Get ruthless about saying **no** - Expect **guilt** — feel it, don’t obey it - Understand some relationships may fade — let them - Stay focused on your **vision**, not their reactions - This is how your **power** gets forged --- > [!tip] > Discipline is saying no — even when everything in you wants to say yes. > It’s how the next version of you gets built. --- ### 🔗 Continue the Journey 📘 **[[11 Destroy the Fat|Next: Rebuilding Begins: Vision, Reflection & The System →]]** 🔗 _[[Download The Vault|Vault Companion Download]] 🔁 _[[00 The Order of Things|Back to Series Overview]]